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VEGAS CON FEATURE - 'Hey, Star Trek! itchoo convenshun SHUN!?' By Jerad Formby

Feature - 'Hey, Star Trek! itchoo convenshun SHUN!?' By Jerad Formby

Forward by Captain Pyke  - You got 'Hey, Star Trek!' in my Subspace Comms!  No, YOU got Subspace Comms in my 'Hey, Star Trek!'   That's right Trek fans, a very special 'Hey, Star Trek!' just for us.   We here at Subspace Communique would like to graciously thank Jerad 'Super Spock' Formby for providing us with our very own installment of our favorite blog.  Just like the rest in a long series of funny, witty, insightful, and trektastic posts, Jerad gives the 'Hey, Star Trek!' spin to Vegas Con 2009.  And now, may we present 'Hey, Star Trek! itchoo convenshun SHUN!?'

Writing for another site isn’t something I often do. If you don’t know what I do, I am the Hey Star Trek! writer for It is over there that I write opinion pieces about Star Trek once a week and about something else nerdy later in the week.

Chris Wood contacted me on Twitter to ask me to “report” on the convention. If memory serves, a reporter just might give you the facts of what happened with very little editorial information. Editorial information should read ‘opinion.’

I am an opinion writer. So this article will have a bit of that –if you’re looking for a blow by blow account of panels, that’s not going to be here. I’m certain that sort of information is on another site if you’re looking for it.

No sir, this is where you’ll find a Star Trek fan in the midst of the madness, the chaos, and matters that made my stomach fall. This isn’t your father’s Star Trek Convention Article.

Hey Star Trek

As a writer for Trekcast, it’s important to let you all know that my convention kicked off with the Trekcast / DVD Geeks / Trekmovie meet up on Wednesday night. It was a fantastic evening of drinking, hobnobbing, and general networking.

I say “general” because no matter who I told about my ‘Hey Star Trek’ writings at the Trekcast site, I was fairly certain that the people I met just might have forgotten all about it. I need to get some business cards made.

The big news of the evening was that Johnathan Frakes showed up at the bar. Trekcast was very excited to see if Mr. Frakes might not lay down some audio for them. Despite how that may or may not have gone, I felt the need to ask Mr. Frakes about the “sexy blue shirt” Riker always sported in those seduction scenes.

I’m an odd bird. See, I think it would be really funny for Wil Wheaton to go to an auction at say Christie’s (where most of the Star Trek warehouses were sold to the public) and bid on that cheesy sweater he always wore. I would love for Wheaton to have that sweater and go every Halloween as Wesley in the sweater.

Hey Star Trek

If you agree with me, than you know that I think Mr. Frakes should have bid on that blue shirt. I actually got to ask him if he thought about obtaining it from Christie’s and he informed me that he would have never paid for it, but does believe it should be in his closet.

Hey Star Trek

The first day I could attend the convention was Friday (one day later).

I used to work for Star Trek: The Experience, so this was the first Star Trek convention where I was allowed to actually go and be a nerd. The first time I didn’t have to be dressed up as a Ferengi to work the insane crowds.

As a nerd, I had to check out some panels. Also, as a nerd, I made sure I brought a nerd friend who would appreciate the matters as much as I do.

Hey Star Trek

We arrived shortly after the crack of noon and were there just in time to see the Deep Space Nine panel. The panel featured Cirroc Lofton, Colm Meaney, Rene Auberjonois, Armin Shimmerman, Casy Biggs, Marc Alaimo, and Jeffrey Combs.

Coming late to the party was Chase Masterson who was a mysterious new edition added that day. She spent most of her time at the convention working the booth for the Intergalactic Bartender –which is a sponsor for

The gentlemen were all class acts and they walked down memory lane with the fans.

Hey Star Trek

We hit the convention vendor’s booth and saw all of the Star Trek knickknacks. I have a very deep appreciation for people in costume. There was a gentleman dressed as a Ferengi, my old job. So I, for once, got a picture with a Ferengi.

My favorite was the Horta. I don’t know how well the costume was pulled off ultimately (as far as accuracy) but it didn’t matter. The colors were right and the creativity of building a Horta is off the chain.

She informed us that we should go to the costume contest and vote for the Horta. In that moment, I had no plans to visit the costume contest, so I was glad to have the seed planted. I went with the intention of voting for the Horta, but I found myself voting for something else. Something that floored me –more on that that later!

It was on the convention floor that my friend and I totally geeked out and realized that one of the great burning questions in Trek fandom had an ultimate answer. The question goes like this: who is the hottest girl in Star Trek?

The answer usually goes:

Hey Star Trek

I’ve never really thrown my hat into that arena and this weekend I found out why. The be-all-hottest woman in Star Trek had escaped my notice. I hadn’t even thought of this character in years, but as soon as we saw her there knitting, my friend and I realized just who the hottest woman in Trek was.

Hey Star Trek

Here she is with a few of her vital statistics:

Hey Star Trek

Hey Star Trek

Hey Star Trek

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After getting to the bottom of that case, we attended the Enterprise panel. The Deep Space Nine Panel was really awesome, but these guys actually put on a show!

John Billingsly, Dominic Keating, Conner Trinneer, Anthony Montgomery, Gary Graham, and Vaughn Armstrong were all in attendance. I hadn’t seen a panel so silly since Reno 911 at San Diego Comic Con so many years ago!

Billingsly brought a newspaper. If he felt the panel was going poorly, he would just whip it open as if to read it –often to very comical effect. I realized that man has a very good grasp of spectacle and this sarcastic approach to the convention hall paid off at least three times for him!

He also brought money. If a fan got to the microphone and asked a question, Billingsly would get up and give he or she a dollar. This clever approach finally came to a halt when he checked his wallet and realized he only had a five left and asked the next Trekkie if she might not have four ones. Hilarious.

This is why I say these Enterprise cats were putting on a show, because when one gal stepped up to the microphone and said very openly that Billingsly’s Phlox was her very favorite character, Trinneer, Montgomery, and Keating all hopped up and stomped over to the edge of the stage.

Wadded up cash was thrown at the Trekkie in spite. Hysterical.

There was something very special and magical about watching those four all interact. Keating has a bit of a potty mouth and Billingsly teased him about it. Montgomery was the exact opposite of the character he played on the show which was a sweet surprise.

And Trinneer. Well, I really loved the story he told about the fan favorite “In a Mirror Darkly.” Because I’m doing my best to remember this, it will not be word for word. Think of this as a joke you try to remember for a friend:

Hey Star Trek

Hey Star Trek

That night, Trekcast, Trekmovie, and DVD Geeks threw a party at a local dollar cinema based around the new movie. An epic success for that theater especially. I don’t think they’ve ever had to cater to an audience of 200 people before!

Hey Star Trek

Trekmovie was super amazing and got people from Bad Robot and Paramount to give out a few freebees. Of course one of the items involved a slick Iphone cover –the Star Trek/Apple obsession is just beginning.

Saturday brought on Stephen Collins who played Decker in my favorite Star Trek movie. He was funny and insightful. He fielded many questions that had nothing to do with Star Trek. My favorite non-Trek stuff involved his work in It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

That night, the Costume Contest stormed the stage and holy cow! I’m not saying how to win this sort of thing or where exactly you should vest your creative energies should you want to participate, but . . .

Hey Star Trek

She and the Borg tied for first, much to Hey Star Trek!’s disappointment. But the Creation guys were open to giving each an equal prize of 500 dollars in “Creation” money.

Apparently the girl behind that costume wins every year. Her name is Susie or Suzy or maybe Souxie, whichever it is! Of course, since Hey Star Trek! champions her as the next original miss Jesus, we would not be surprised she had the most unique name spelling in the universe! Later, I found out that she is responsible for pretty much every costume that’s rocked my world in the past three years.

I don’t care if she wins every year. If she’s doing that stuff, she damn well deserves it every year. She is a champion at what she does and I wish I had her phone number.

The convention ended Sunday with me not attending any panels. That was Quinto day, that was Nimoy day, and that was Shatner day. The hot news that was ripping up the dealer’s room was that Shatner had called Nimoy a “whore.” He also said that he hasn’t seen the movie yet.

That reminded me of what he said in 1989 about the Next Generation. “I haven’t seen it yet.”

Hey Star Trek

The evening and the convention closed with Trekcast's reunion for Star Trek: The Experience. Lots of people were in attendance and, as a former employee, it was genuinely special to see so many old faces. There were a great many hugs and several pictures.

Over the course of the convention, several occasions were held at the Spacequest bar. Two of those had Trekcast as sponsors. All of those occasions took place in the shadow of the wall that used to be Star Trek: The Experience.

Trekcast got the Hilton to play Star Trek episodes for us.

The fans themselves took it upon themselves to write post it notes and index cards to place on the wall between us and the old Experience. The Hilton did nothing to dissuade this. It just might be possible they miss us.

Hey Star Trek

They didn’t have to be so nice. They could have nipped the act in the bud, but see how they didn’t. Everyone screams about boycotting the Hilton, but I’m telling you right now that train has sailed.

The Hilton was great to us and I’m glad they got us for so much money. The relationship felt very much like two old lovers who are sorry it didn’t work out, but sometimes things just can’t stay the same.

It doesn’t mean that it’s not cool for both sides to remember that it was good at one time.

Hey Star Trek

Bye Bye, Robot: Official Licensed Star Trek Fine Art